The Mischief Maker and I are happy to let y’all in on a little secret we’ve been keeping.
Come this fall, the Zoo will be growing! TADA!!!
The Sassy One took one look at this picture and said, “The aliens are attacking. Run for your lives!” Well, it may not be an alien, but it is another Fields — so you may want to run for your lives anyway. ;)
Kidding, people! We are excited for this new ball of fun that will most certainly add another element of insanity to our already crazy household. A new little person for my dear husband to warp into a bundle of chaos! Hang on! It’s gonna get fun!
Now let me share with you a little (HUGE) pet peeve I have about being pregnant.
People seem to think a pregnant tummy gives them the right to ask any number of dumb and incredibly personal questions. Having as many children as we do seems to add to the belief that perfect strangers have a sudden right to invasion of privacy.
Here’s some good pregnancy math for you:
Major pet peeve + hormonal pregnant lady = increased chances of slapping, eye-rolling, and generally sarcastic answers.
Just to help you out, let me answer some of the inevitable questions and comments now.
Because I’m nice and considerate like that.
And yes, people have asked me every one of these questions on more than one occasion. Here goes:
1. Yes, we do know what causes this. We have been married for 15 years. We’re pros. Obviously. ;) (Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. Ask a stupid question…)
2. This makes six at home and eight in total. Yes, I said eight.
3. No, I am not insane. Well, not totally anyway. Okay, maybe I am. But that’s not the reason for the number of children we have.
4. You would go crazy with this many children? That’s too bad. I’m sorry you’ve raised children you don’t like. Oh, and by the way, thanks for saying that in front of my kids. It’s always nice when people make them feel like they are such a burden.
5. No, you cannot touch my stomach. If you have to ask, we don’t know each other well enough.
6. Of course the baby is my husband’s! What is wrong with you people?
7. No, I don’t have a ton of patience. I do, however, have plenty of extra opportunities to practice.
8. Yes, my hands are already full. So is my heart. This is a good thing.
9. Are we “done” yet? We’re not cooking turkeys, people. Oh, wait — you meant are we going to have any more? I don’t know. Why? Do we need to pre-order them?
10. Do we want a boy or a girl? Preferably.
11. No, we aren’t going to find out what we are having. What? You wouldn’t be able to stand it? Silly me, I must have forgotten this was about you. My bad.
12. Was this planned? Well, obviously by somebody, whether us or God — but are you really asking me whether our *ahem* “activities” were meant for the purpose of productivity or for recreation? Perv.
13. No, we don’t need a hobby. We have plenty to do. I just wasn’t aware that the two things have to be mutually exclusive.
14. And finally, when I see you in public: Yes, they are all mine. And thank you for demonstrating your ability to count to six. Good job!